Who do you see when you look in the mirror?

For years, all I saw was what my dad told me I was and reflections of childhood taunts: I remember when I was in high school I worked at the telephone company, where I got off at ten o’clock at night. To save money I parked two blocks away at the post office. I wanted to pay the fifty cents and park next door, however my dad said that would be a waste of money.

I pleaded. Finally Dad said, “What are you afraid of? If somebody grabs you, get under a bright light. When they see what they’ve got, they’ll let you go.”
This is the same man who had been sexually abusing me for eight years.

If I played other tapes of my childhood, I would hear a doctor say, “You are so fat, you are disgusting.” I was a size 14...

The curses spoken over you color your self-perception. Mentally, you mutter, “consider the source.” But inside you are bleeding. The childhood axiom, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is a lie. Actually it can manifest as verbal abuse.

Several years ago, I went to a friend and said, “I want to sell Mary Kay. What do I have to do?”

She asked me why I wanted to sell it. I simply said I didn’t like myself nor take care of myself, but there was one thing I knew—I wasn’t a hypocrite. So I figured if I sold it, I would have to use it and take care of myself. My strategy worked. I did learn to like myself and I learned how to better take care of myself. It ran much deeper than makeup.

Today, I delight in doing one-on-one facials and helping the other woman see herself as God saw her before the foundations of the world.

Yes, I do a customized color consultation and teach her how to best take care of her skin. However, it is very important to me that the inside changes begin during this one-on-one time. I want to give her hope for her future. I want to encourage her and love on her, too.

Audrey Hepburn was once asked for her beauty tips. This is what she recommended:

“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands: one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.”

Today I spent an intense (entire) day with Robert Jones, an amazing makeup artist, who taught most everything I needed to know to help myself, and other women, look their absolute best! I learned professional inside secrets to using makeup to conceal and cover as well as bring out the best features of the women I facial. It was so much fun and ever so easy. However, I was surprised to learn I was using the wrong foundation for my skin undertone. Many in the room had made the same mistake.

It made me think of how often our perception of ourselves is skewed. When we look in the mirror, we see one thing. When our beloved looks at us, they see someone else entirely through love-tinted glasses. Little children often think mom is indefatigable and can do anything. They never see the self-doubt or tormenting fears.

Author and teacher, Daniel Raeburn, once wrote, “Facing a mirror you see merely your own countenance; facing your child you finally understand how everyone else has seen you.”

What you see in the mirror is a reflection of how you see yourself.