I am probably one of the worst people to be around when I am under the weather. I am usually in complete denial that I am getting sick so I just keep going on with my life as if nothing is wrong. I know my body and all the signs pretty well; I know how to kick colds, sore throats, etc., quickly and get on with my normally scheduled life.

But, once in a good while it beats me to the punch or just persists until my body finally gives the illness the right-of-way and lets it pass me by and I have to slam on the breaks.

In case you haven’t gotten it—I am, at present, sick. I started to feel icky about a week ago. Within that week, I was traveling; driving, in fact, nine hours to Georgia to work on a book I am writing. I didn’t want to cancel, didn’t want to drive while sick and was bound and determined to beat it down and be victorious over the germs invading my immune system. I was also celebrating my birthday within that week and didn’t want to cancel a planned dinner with friends...that would be no fun.

So, I allowed myself a partial day of rest (hey, I’m a busy lady) and went to bed early the night I felt my worst. Then the next morning I got up and decided I would sweat it out. I intended to go for a run, though my body didn’t let me go to that extreme...so I did a little walk/jog. About fifteen minutes into it, I was LITERLLY sweating bullets: I bent over to adjust my shoe and a gush of sweaty beads came rushing onto the ground around me. I thought to myself, “I guess my fever broke!”

I got home, took a shower and felt awesome. I got on with the day...which was my birthday. This included my car breaking down just days after having a bunch of work done...isn’t that the way it always happens? Ugh. Well, I was determined not to let it get to me. I sat at the garage for hours while they repaired my alternator...and was about 20 minutes late to meet my friends waiting at the restaurant.

The next day I was on the road to Georgia, feeling fine. Thank the Lord! (I was literally, thanking Him.)

The week went on and I felt fine until the night before my departure, when I was up for hours, coughing my head off. I thought perhaps it was all the pollen...I thought wrong! Oh sooo wrong...

My drive home was the perfect time for whatever I had been fighting off to infect me...nine hours in a car and nowhere to run. I felt crappy by the time I arrived home and woke up early the next morning feeling like a pile of bricks landed on my head. I wasn’t going anywhere that day but back to sleepy land.

For the past four and half days, I have allowed myself to be sick. Sick in the worse way too...sick and needing to stay in bed. That staying in bed part doesn’t go over well with me. Nothing is more boring to me unless I have a good book and nothing else to do after a late night out. I am happy to say I actually stayed in bed for nearly an entire day (okay, I FORCED myself to stay in bed as not to be tempted to work) as well as staying in bed on and off the next day.  I was overdosing on vitamin C, water, hot tea and devoured an entire bottle of Sambucol in less than two days (it's pure Elderberry extract so it's okay).  

On Friday, I was up early, feeling somewhat better and out the door to Bible study. At least I was going to be sitting and not really putting forth any real effort, right? Before 9:00 that night, I was ready for bed! I felt like an old lady. I actually had to work my day-job the next two days. They needed me and I already taken one day off due to being ill. I got through the long work days alright, but definitely would have preferred to have been at home where I could cough myself into oblivion, in private.

Today, I am tired, coughing and decongesting (better than the alternative, yes indeed—not being able to breathe)...and sitting here thinking about how bad my judgment was last week. (As I work.) Yes, I am admitting that driving myself like a racehorse on Derby day was not smart. That instead of running I should have been resting. But, the mentality of ‘no one else is going to do it for me’ is what takes over in those instances. Sad but true, no one else can do the things I am responsible for. I at least resisted getting this magazine up by the first day of the month, as normally scheduled, and gave myself extra time (I am the boss...and the only one on staff who does prepares the new issues) instead of pushing myself to get it done.

I have always been this way; I will just push through it. When I was a senior in high school I worked through having bronchitis, which turned into bronchial pneumonia and I ended up being put on bed rest and missing a month of school...all why keeping up my assignments, writing term papers, newspaper articles and editing...from bed. I went back to school just in time for semester finals which I passed with flying colors, at the disbelief of my teachers.

For as long as I remember I have had a driven spirit; today, I find I am actually (and happily) significantly less driven than even six months ago. So, if you allow it, the cycle can be reversed.  The drivennes can be driven out.

I make the excuse that I merely just don’t like to be held back. I don’t think I have a lazy bone in my body and am not a person who believes being sick is something that should get in the way of life. At the same time, I know it is not conducive to being productive if I end up sick like this. I do know I have to slow down once in a while and take care of the temple...it is the only one I have and, ‘no one else is going to do it for me”....