The other day as I passed in the hallway, I overhead two co-workers from the North bemoaning the fact that the lilacs in the South were not as pert and radiant as those in the North. They went on to complain how they just droop.

Then it dawned on me that they were trying to compare their lilacs to our wisteria vines that drip from the trees and fences and most any other upright surface. The South has magnificent trees and they are often garbed in wisteria while other vines like honeysuckle and Confederate jasmine dress fences and trellises.

They totally missed the beauty of the wisteria, a vine, because they compared it to a bush. I began to ponder that observation. How many times do I totally miss what is before me because I compare it to a false standard. How many other things am I missing?

My question is how many things has God set before us? Are we so busy doing "good" things that we totally miss the "God" things? How many things are we doing because we think we "ought" to do them?

Yesterday I unplugged the phone, turned off my cell and watched three chick flicks on the Hallmark channel. I had laid out some jewelry findings to create some more jewelry when I thought, "No. I just need to chill. I don't need to DO anything." I put everything back up.

For SIX hours I literally struggled with being still and relaxing. I was never truly successful as I cooked dinner and folded clothes during the movies. Why is it so hard to be still: to do nothing without feeling guilty? How many things are we missing because we are rushing through our "to do" list?

Why is it so hard to "be still and know He is God?"

Do we fear not being accepted unless we are doing? Do we get our identity from our activity? Who taught us that? I think one of the reasons it is so hard to receive the love of the Father is because we won't be still long enough.

However, another insidious joy thief is that we constantly compare ourselves to others. We even compare our children and our husbands to someone else’s

It begins at birth. Little Susie doesn’t have as much hair as your sister’s little girl, Amanda, did. From that point forward the race is on. Will Susie sit up at the same age as Amanda or will she be slower? Who got the best report card even though the grade levels may be quite different? Whose husband earns the most money?

All of these and other tormenting comparisons are joy thieves. Instead of enjoying the moment, you are critiquing and analyzing and perhaps planning strategizing on how to up the ante.

You are divinely unique. There is no one exactly like you. Celebrate that!

When you know who you are and are comfortable with that, your need to gauge others by your fabricated yardstick will diminish. Eliminating drama and walking in quiet confidence will make the situation you're going through more tempered and reasonable.

It is neither kind nor loving to belittle another human being. That level of superiority steals you of your peace and limits your personal growth.

“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully [and] wonderfully made: marvellous [are] thy works; and [that] my soul knoweth right well.

My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, [and] curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all [my members] were written, [which] in continuance were fashioned, when [as yet there was] none of them.” (Psalm 139:13-16)

God was there at your conception. He knit you together in your mother’s womb. Even if you had the world’s worst mother, there is something in that lineage that is meant for your good. You are special and comparing yourself to another diminishes that.

That constant comparison will lead to a critical spirit. Over time you lose relationships, because being close to you will be as comfortable as snuggling with a porcupine.  It is catty and petty to be judge and jury of the universe. Stop it! We are all connected and when you cut another to ribbons, you are trashing your own soul.

When you use others as your benchmark of success, you limit your potential to be unique. You become a copycat rather than an original.

The story is told of a small village in France. At the top of the hill sat a lavender plant where most of the villagers worked. Each evening as the villagers left the plant to return home, they carried with them the scent of the lavender that they had been processing. That scent wafted through the village down each street until the village was permeated with the heady scent of lavender. Isn’t that the way we should live our lives? With a sweet fragrance that scents the lives of those around us.

When we live our lives as part of the whole, we contribute to a quantum leap towards living in love and peace.