It was something I always wanted to do, but dreaded I would never have the chance to do. I mean really! How many men do you know that would ever want to learn ballroom dancing?

It was a fantasy birthed long ago during my teenage years. I can remember watching the old movies on television: gazing at Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers as they seemed to effortlessly float across the dance floor. Grace and elegance just appeared to be natural for those who could dance that way, and I wanted some. My only question was ‘How do you find a partner’?

After decades passed, I honestly thought I would have to let my fantasy die; that is, until I met Gary. During one of our getting-to-know-you talks, he admitted to having the very same desire. Talk about being taken by surprise; I was stunned! Here was a good-looking man’s man, who wanted to learn how to dance ballroom-style. How perfect was that!

When the appropriate time came, we both decided to jump right in and take a seven week course offered at a local high school. It was only two hours a night, once a week, and since it didn’t cost a lot, we figured we didn’t have much to lose. If nothing else, we could learn the basics, get some exercise in the process, and even have some fun.

During each class, the men would be lined up on one side, with the women on the other. After we were each taught our respective parts, we would then come together and try to make it fit. Initially it was very odd, for we did not flow together naturally. You might say we were unfamiliar with the practice of working together as a couple. Oh we knew it would take time and practice. We just had no idea how uneasy we would feel in the process of becoming one.

Since he would be the head of this new unit we were creating, his responsibilities were much greater than mine. First, he had to accept the role of leader and all that it entailed. He had to learn where and how to place his hand, so that it could become his navigational tool. He had to become trained in how to use his own body and limbs, so that he could support me in any flourishing moves that were required. Why he even had to alter the natural size of his own step to accommodate my smaller stride. In short, he had to become so skilled and confident in his own moves, so that he could focus on what was ahead, and guide us through the surrounding maze of couples.

I in turn had to first relinquish control. Even though I had danced in my younger years, I had never danced with a partner. I had to be willing to follow him, even when he made a mistake or accidentally caused me to stumble. I had to be especially patient not only with myself, but also with him, for we were both mastering new skills together. We had to learn how to count the music and move to the beat of different rhythms, as well as when to hold or release each other so that both would benefit. Finally, I had to humble myself and realize that the dance was not just about me anymore, but about us. It took a while, but eventually I discovered the joy of staying within his boundaries.

In fact, the more I danced, the more I realized how God was using this to teach me some basics of marriage. For in dance, we were taught that the man is the frame, and the woman is the picture inside: Just like a frame supports the picture and shows it off, so too does the picture gives the frame purpose. For what good is a frame without a picture, and how beautiful is a finished piece of art without its frame? They were meant to compliment each other.

We were also instructed that it is the man’s role to lead. Period! That’s just the way it is! It is the man who decides not only what direction the couple will take, but also how they will get there and the speed in which they move. By placing his hand on her back, and pressing or releasing the pressure, she knows whether to move right, left or sideways, forward or backwards, or even whether to turn. She is quick to obey because she cannot see what is behind her.

You might even say that ballroom dancing, like marriage, is an act of faith. He trusts her to follow his lead, and she willingly does. Not necessarily because she has learned that he is trustworthy, but because she trusts the One who has put them together. Although their direction may change from time to time, their positions always remain the same; with the woman in submission.

Ooh submission! That can be a difficult word for some, and yet I found it to be extremely freeing. By putting trust in my partner, I am free to enjoy the dance and the music without fear. By letting him fulfill his responsibilities, I can move confidently in any direction. For when I submit to his lead, he makes me look good. On the other hand, if I insist on taking the lead from him, the entire movement is ruined. Everything comes to a standstill, as he was not created to fulfill my role.

Now, if only married people would realize that their primary purpose in life is to make the other spouse look good, then Jesus would be glorified. For that’s what He did for us; his bride, his church: His blood covered us in righteousness, so we would look good to Father God.

EPILOGUE

Just hours before our very last dance class, Gary asked me to be his dance partner for life. Thrilled and honored, I did accept the invitation to be his spouse. “ But Lord” I prayed. “I don’t know how to be a Christian wife. You’ll have to teach me”. “Dear daughter” came His reply. “Don’t you realize I’ve been doing it all along?”

I am a Florida native, born and raised on the east coast of Miami. After living there for half of my life, I then moved to the west coast of Naples in 1984. Although I spent the majority of my life as a single woman, I am happily married to a man named Gary these last four years. Upon saying “I do”, I not only became a step-mother to four daughters, but a grandmother to six.

Though presently a home-maker, I worked outside the home for over thirty-five years, most recently employed for the USPS as a letter carrier. Together with my spouse, I enjoy short-term foreign mission work, travel, music, theatre, extreme sports, and our Calico cat named Joy.

Since having been saved, my utmost desire is to encourage others in the Lord Jesus Christ and see them set free to enjoy life to the full.

Comments

mhanrahan

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A lovely analogy comparing marriage to dancing! A very concrete example of the beauty of God's design in marriage...a concept not politically correct, but biblically true!

Friday 02 April 2010, 12:46

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