In my travels as a patriot, scholar and professional, I have concluded the American Dream has a prerequisite that the baby boomers didn’t agree to, nor did my generation, gen-x, vote on. As I write this my spider sense tingles because I know we are in danger as Americans.

For some, this dream may include a house, spouse or picket fence (and perhaps a cocker spaniel). For others, the dream may be as simple as stability; stability in terms of being able to maintain a standard of living, or even improve on their current one. Essentially a mild progression from one generation to the next is considered “the dream” for some.

Further, if capturing your dream is equated to living your happiness, I’d like to address a cancerous issue pertaining to the pursuit of happiness, the acquisition of the American Dream.

Fellow Generation X’er’s - Fellow veterans, fathers, husbands, soldiers, poets and scholars - the men of the preceding I look you in your eyes from the pixels that present themselves as ink on this screen. We need heroes, role models and leaders- this is your call to arms.

Decades of a “me” rather than “we” mentality amongst Americans, has encouraged a prerequisite that is now the standard rather than the choice when pursing your American Dream. The requirement is both parents working to pursue or even sustain a pleasurable standard of living. Now, if two people are inclined to work just to meet the standard, what does this mean to a single parent home relying on just one income?

Better yet, what does it mean for this country when our next two generations are being raised by their peers, sport/music icons and measured against a standard of success that affords more to perception rather than substance? We as leaders (meaning parents) of our families are not there to project or affirm otherwise. While I hope that I reach some dead beat parents, I would sincerely appreciate a moment of time from the loving, caring, working class parents.

On Wednesday, September 10, 2008 the New York Times reported that the majority of American families have to work. This was the majority even among traditional families, which was considered married with children. The article stated that in 1976, 33 (%) percent of American households had two working spouses; as of 1998 it was 51 (%) percent.

While the current percent of working households has proved elusive - two facts have not:

1. Fact, in August of 2000, Working Paper Series #46, “The Effect of Work and Welfare on Living Conditions in Single Parent Households,” by Kurt J. Bauman from the U.S Census proved that our government has failed to take into account the rising cost of childcare in terms of its impact on the finances of American families. The document further states that childcare cost can at times be large but are not distinctive or impacting enough to be taken into account. The same document goes on, further implying that families with two working parents may incur risk related to working. To further clarify-your family as a structure assumes risk when both parents work.

2. Fact, on July 13, 2007 the Department of Health and Human Services shared the following comments in a press release:
   1. “Black, non-Hispanic children and Hispanic children were less likely than white, non-Hispanic children to have a parent working year round, full time. About 74 percent of Hispanic children and 62 percent of black, non-Hispanic children lived in families with secure parental employment in 2005, compared with 84 percent of white, non-Hispanic children.”
   2. “In 2005, 40 percent of U.S. households with children had one or more of three housing problems: physically inadequate housing, crowded housing, or cost burden resulting from housing that costs more than 30 percent of household income.
   3. Darlene Williams, Ph.D., Assistant Secretary of Policy Development and Research at the Department of Housing and Urban Development stated, “The increase in housing problems among families primarily reflects high housing costs. As a direct result of increased housing costs we have seen significant increases in the number of households experiencing cost burdens, including cost burdens exceeding 50 percent of household income.”

The preceding pieces of information were offered by competent and sound partners of our government, entities given the responsibility, by our congress, to report the conditions of our country so they can make policy that does not impede but assist in the pursuit of happiness, your happiness- your American Dream.

My research tells me my assumptions have been right and my responsibility as a father, my daughter’s first love and my son’s first hero, is to share in an attempt to leave this country better than my generation found it.

People wake up! A smaller amount of Americans will be able to aspire to the traditional American Dream. This means both parents will have to work, which opens families up to a large amount of unforeseen risk that can be debilitating if not detrimental to more of us, rather than fewer of us. For example, if you are a working single parent or a household where both parents work, your children are at a higher risk of anyone of the following:

• Abuse- sexual, physical and mental
• Teen rape
• Teen pregnancy
• Sexually Transmitted Disease
• Not completing school

Quality of family is not dependant on income. Quality of family, as it pertains to your American Dream, is dependent on the amount of time you spend building a good family foundation. As long as parents had the choice, whether one works or stays home, they could define and limit their exposure to the risks presented above. If both parents working means the household is just getting by, then what is the condition and standard for a single parent family?

If I’ve lost you in my efforts to paint a picture, then let me offer an exercise. I promise it will be simple and you can probably, sadly, use both hands.

Step1. Honestly ask yourself how many hours do you spend during a normal work week talking to your children and looking them in the eyes? (Quiet time does not count if an electronic device is on.)

Step 2. Add up the total.

Step 3. Review the total in terms of quality measured against quantity.

I would challenge that most Americans spend less than 15 hours a week with their children in terms of “quality companionship.” My own family, immediate and extended, falls victim to the same equation.

If the “American Family Institution” were a business, under our current economic state and deteriorating culture we have admittedly outsourced our children to daycare, public schools and after-school programs and that is reserved for the fortunate few. Less fortunate parents have to hope that their children aren’t experimenting with meth, sex or gangs, while they are trying to keep the mortgage up by working overtime.

Family is not only a cherished institution, it is a village; and it takes a village to raise a child. Given what I’ve shared, you’d have to be living the dream to be removed enough from the facts not to admit they are there.

Signed,

Your Kid