When I was 10 or 11 years old, I received a blue Crayola piggy bank as a gift.

From that point forward, I hoarded every penny, dime, and dollar that came my way. Sometimes I couldn’t even fit the plastic crayon tip back on the cardboard base thanks to the dollar bills that were overflowing from the top. My mother often commented that as a teenager, I had more cash on hand than she did...

I’ve since subbed that Crayola bank for a checking account, but the principle remains the same: save every cent possible. Because of my philosophy, one would think that a person with my penchant for penny-pinching would be right at home in a recession. But in recent months, I’ve thrown my cheap ways to the wind to buy all those little things I’ve usually denied myself in the past. I attribute this drastic change in mindset to one thing: a guilt-fueled stress caused by the recession.

It’s a vicious cycle. I start out by feeling guilty that I’m still employed and so many others aren’t. I then feel guilty that I often curse the job I should feel lucky to have. Lastly, I feel guilty because I should be saving more of this money I should be grateful to still be earning.

Alleviation of all this guilt comes in one of three ways:

Me at Target: “I can have both the shirt and the pants. I deserve it!”

Me at home: “Oh, I’ll cook tomorrow. I’ll get takeout tonight. I deserve it!”

Me at work: “Let’s go to happy hour and drown our sorrows in half-price martinis. We deserve it!”

You see the pattern here. Once I see all these little splurges on my bank statement, a surge of stress begins to build between my temples, because I should have had more self-control.

A recent Reuters article quoted a marketing expert as saying the uncertainty caused by the job market has sent many women running for the nearest mall, allowing themselves to buy that one little “treat” that’s sure to turn their frown upside down.

My problem is I buy several “treats”. I may not be swiping my credit card for a Louis Vuitton bag, but a couple of extras at the mall, a few dinners out, and a couple of bottles of wine can have the same effect on a budget.

I think most of my guilt really stems from this one fact: any excess in this era of cutbacks and downsizing seems wasteful and wrong, and I should be exercising more restraint. While we can’t deny ourselves everything, I think there’s some truth to returning to a back-to-basics approach.

Paco Underhill, the CEO and President of Envirosell, noted during a recent segment on NPR that we can’t continue to consume the way we have, and we’ll never go back to those old ways. “Is it going to be painful getting to become more responsible consumers? Yes, short-term,” Underhill said. “Long-term, however, I think there are some positive ramifications to it. We need to better connect what we can afford with what we actually buy.”

But I think the recession has prompted a different thought, at least for me. Do I really need what I am buying? It often seems my purchases are tangible ways to make myself feel better, or to have a bit of fun in an otherwise bleak week or month.

I think I can stop this downward spiral of spending by considering why I’m buying what I’m buying (or why I want to buy it). In other words, I must think before I swipe.

If I really want to shop, I’m going to do some ‘window shopping’ online. There’s no harm done by putting those $1,500 shoes in your shopping cart, and never actually pushing the checkout button. Sometimes it’s fun (and cheaper) to pretend.

Being with friends doesn’t require expensive dinners or nights out on the town. Potlucks at a friend’s house allow you try out a new culinary feat, serve drinks for a fraction of the restaurant price, and perhaps most importantly, enjoy each other’s company.

In order to make it in the new (financial) world order, we will have to change the way we live. While there might be some growing pains at first, my bank account will thank me later.

Additional links:

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200907/home-economics

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1204806/Guilty-pleasure-Eight-women-regret-splashing-clothes-spend-49-month-themselves.html

http://www.intent.com/blog/2009/03/08/feeling-depressed-about-designer-jeans-25